Wednesday, 11 March 2015

An Englishman Abroad


That scratch on my leg may look innocuous now but earlier today it was life threatening.  I felt the sharp sting when I walked back into the café to collect our coffees and looked down to see these neat, double marks. I assumed that it was just an insect bite since I had not really seen anything near my leg. However, the caring lady behind the counter had other ideas: “Those look like puncture wounds and best not take any chances”

Then all the other ladies behind the counter joined in, reeling off the symptoms that could soon appear and of course, I immediately began to sense them.

Except I soon felt a fraud and started to claim “Englishman’s Wimp”. But they were having none of it. I was told to sit down as the ladies took me under their wing – although, adopting a different approach, the manager meanwhile appeared to phone his corporate head office, possibly to alert their insurance company.

When the lady returned 15 minutes later I still felt fine and now less stressed. “Taken this just in case” she said, handing me the roll of bandage “and if you take a turn for the worse then wrap the wound tightly, apply a tourniquet to the lower leg and go straight to hospital”.


As you will have guessed, I am still alive. With hindsight I believe it probably was a snake bite but, as someone who has lain awake at night believing that the pain in my back was likely terminal, only to have fought off the disease by morning, we men are used to overcoming such adversity.

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