Being 'Strayan

As our wanderings around the second country in our antipodean adventure come to an end, I have been pondering what I have learned about what it takes to be ‘Strayan. The following list is neither complete nor accurate and for that I apologise:

‘Strayan citizens face towards the sea, for the beach is their spiritual home. They may head into the bush sometime in their life but this is a psychic quest, not a regular habit. It is something to be done early to get it out of the way,  or put off until retirement so you can include your 4WD Camper in an organised  'Tagalong'. This is sensible since it’s far cooler in every way at the beach.

Their national moto is ‘no worries’. Compare this with the English “I’m sorry but” and the American “Have a nice day”. The former suggests equality and a positive outlook. Having heard this in a conversation you can relax in the knowledge that you’ve not been sold something nor face a little self-deprecation to get the conversation going.

Australia’s modern economy is based on extractive industries, which requires a brashness (e.g. Texas) that follows from this divinely bestowed treasure. It helps to provide ‘the good life’ which is a national assumption. After all, that’s why people come here. There is a cloud on the horizon as commodity prices fall along with Chinese demand but “Heh, no worries”.

‘Strayans hold the pun in high esteem, which suits me just fine. Except that I have seen some of the worst advertising ever as we travel around the country. This included one billboard on the outskirts of Sydney proclaiming “‘Straight up Brokescrap Mountain” and featuring two arm-in-arm scrap metal dealers. Tongue-in-cheek homophobic puns – a world first?

Each sentence spoken by ‘Strayans should end on a high note, so always take your voice up as you finish. It confuses the listener as to whether you’ve really come to an end thus giving a pause for you both to think about what to say next.

Sport is a religion and 'Strayans approach it with a corresponding zeal. This is unfair on other countries like the English who just do it part time and pretend they don’t care when they lose. For ‘Strayans losing is not an option and luckily one they rarely have to confront.

Property ownership in ‘Straya is, like in many other countries, a quicker and easier way to make money than just earning it. However, they have taken it to a new level with innovations such as tax breaks on negative gearing. Don’t bother to try to work out what this is as your country would never consider it.

‘Straya is certainly a comfortable country for the British visitor. I have tried to determine why. Of course, I could fall back on old clichés like a shared heritage but that is being diluted as time passes and ‘Straya has looked more to the US and Asia. Even the Cadbury’s chocolate here tastes different from the UK version but then that great dependable has already sold itself for the Kraft dollar. No, it seems to me that the shared value is ‘outlook on life’. Compared with say the US, we both start from commonality not individuality. That has profound political and social implications.

So there it is. I am sorry but I never said this would be accurate. Have nice day.